Hebrew Bible

This is a completely different world for me. I'm proud of making a decision this semester to take this class.

3 years of biology study make me feel exhausted. I'm not a bad student. I can work hard, though not so smart. Biology is a hard science for hardworker. Just work hard, and I will never be a loser at least. But during these years, what I'm experiencing is keep memorizing stuff I don't like, and forgetting them right after finishing the exam, which did not give much enlightenment towards things such as why I'm here, what is life. The whole sophomore, what now only left in my mind, is the sweetness of loving and the pain of break up.

Sitting in the classroom of old testament, the professor let everyone to think about 9/11. I was a child studying at Grade 5 in Shanghai then. When my parents heard from the early morning radio saying the corruption of World Trade Center, they were completely shocked. My parents are not so pro-US, they sometimes even criticize what US presidents does to harm Chinese people heavily, based on a communist perspectives obviously. But at that moment, what I figured out is there are somethings similar, which is across the border of nations, which is humanity. We are sad about people's death. We are angry about what terrorism does to the society. Though I'm probably the only athiest in the classroom, I don't feel like it's hard to understand the point professor want to make: "Do we lose our belief in God? Does God lose His trust towards America?" Later on, we skimmed some chapters in the Bible. Somethings became more solid, that human nature is just like "if you do sth harmful to me, I'll certainly revenge." It's horrible to abandon the hope in God just because of some events happened, but we need to read Bible in a new way, probably a more modern perspective, which can incorporate the tragedy. What does it mean, why did it occur. Something pretty much the same as what Chinese communism is doing: try to inteprete Maxism in a modern way, and probably, dig out the justification for the Communist Party. However, China is keep accepting new things and abandon the older one. Maxism is a western thing, so I highly question in whether it will consolidate the Chinese identity as what Hebrew Bible can do.

I probably need to talk more with the professor. What impressed me much is a discussion last month in his office, that he even mentioned about the "Mu(無)" in Buddism. “本来无一物，何处染尘埃。”Probably, there is no need to think about making choices because there is no choices. I may still be a Athiest, not because I choose to be, but doubting about devine existence is my nature.

It was already midnight and my mind is fully activated, though I cannot state all my words out clearly, I feel like Biology may just be a rice bow for me, which brings me money and higher quality of life, but thinking these questions within and after this semester, and during my whole life, will become a much more funny adventure.