5.2 Let it go

A girl has really make me fell guilty and confused for a long time. At a loss of how to face myself, how to face her, and kinda questions like these. Have the feeling like my life is moving in darkness, and what I could probably do is to keep the faith that light will come and just be patient. No matter how many curses come, believe life will become better and keep it clear in mind about what kind of life I want, and what kind of person I want to be.

The 23rd birthday. Celebrated by guys from debate team. When they asked about two of my wishes, I said something sound pretty dumb and selfish, that hope I could become a PhD one day. I can definitely come up with some better answers making everyone feel happy, but frankly speaking my mind seemed to be absent during that time. I don't know what to say. And the situation during that time was a little bit awkward. What I really wanna wrote down is the words I said to her the day before my birthday. I confessed that I've committed something really mean and bad, making her feel hurts which I feel really bad about. I'm just too protective on myself, and sometimes neglects how other people think. And I hope she will find a great guy some day.

And she got mad again, which actually doesn't hurt me much. Can totally accept the response, coz I've never expected forgiveness from someone that I've deeply hurt. But the thing confused me is how she respond. Well, what she said may not necessarily reflect what she mean, but she just wanna be alone, and do not want to hear from me ever.

Maybe this is not the point at all. I have to face upon myself, what's wrong, and where's the problem. Not until I fixed it can I get a true love once again.

But something will be remembered, and someone will never forget.

So, just let it go.