This is weird

5 hours before the final. I am still not in the study mode. Cannot memorize more, and the brain stop working. I tried to focus but failed, facing all those authors and their opinions, it's clear, all clear on the notes, but I just can't link them together to make a complete sentence.

I'm becoming more and more weird these days. Facing myself, facing my friends, facing people. Don't know how to start talking and keep one topic moving. Can't make funny jokes. Can't let people feel comfortable when hanging out with me. I knew it but I cannot control it, which is such a sad feeling. There are something that you know it's bad but you cannot change it to become better at all, and there is no reason identified. Just lost in myself.

Keep questioning all kings of questions,hope will get rid of the status soon, but I will be patient. Everything will be alright. Maybe, maybe not. Or I just feel dumb about my life. Need changes immediately.

The last exam

Paperwork almost done, just need some minor correction in grammar.

Tomorrow will be a long long day studying for the last exam. It's all matter of memorization.

Maybe I can pick up some time doing things for other people. Just maybe.

During final week, I am weird weird weird. Hate this version, but I'm gonna accept it. This is me, super sensitive to the GPA stuff.

The ambition of being a PhD all the way to a professor is just getting started.

So, go for it, boy.

Nothing is ruined. Everything is in its shape.

Is getting worse and worse.

Don't ever try talking to me when I am sensitive. My respond may or may not hurt you, and I know it is bad.

Acting weird

Why am I not able to speak out my true feeling?

Maybe I am just in my talking mode. Too selfish sometimes I show up. Or maybe other people ask too much from me.

But I should at least let them know how I feel. But I cannot. I don't even know how I feel right now.

After the weird stuff, guilty comes up. but you know the point you said the word out, nothing can change it. It's settled already. Facts are remembered forever. People will learn and find out that I am selfish too, I don't have time to care about other people. I am just a jerk.

A night acting like a boy, a college boy.

Happy birthday dad!

Today is my dad's 50th birthday. Happy birthday dad!

Haven't taken much pics with dad these years, but these are good ones

2009.8 arriving HK

2010.2 spring festival


2011.2 spring festival


2011.8 leaving China for exchange

2012.9 at cousin's wedding





How I wish there are more time spending with daddy and mommy.

Talent is delaying stuff

Maybe the exam this afternoon exhausted me. Oh stop talking that crap, I know I was talking hilariously with several girls in the caf and retained that energy back home.

I am just talented in delaying stuff. Things can move on if I stick to my study plan. I could have finished two chapters of revision on this ecology thing, and maybe some paper work on the sociology, but eventually I only did two review questions, and spent the whole night watching TV series.

What the heck am I doing. Still daydreaming to become a PhD? Shame on me. My talent is not in this way judging from now.

Bad.

Stupid Kai

I did a silly thing today, and I think nothing can be even more silly than this one.

I spent half an hour scanned a 40-page-long report using a computer in the school library, and just after I finished the job, I save the file in the C:\ disk of the computer, and unconsciouslly press the button of  "Shut down".

So I have to do it again. Another thirty minutes.

Hope I am not making that silly mistake when doing lab stuff.

:(

Booming December

No matter what results I will achieve after this December, I have to say I CANNOT LOVE THE FIRST THREE DAYS MORE.

And, I think I have a feeling on a cute cute girl. She is amazing.

Woohoo.