Extremely tired back from the trip to Shenzhen and not in the study mode at all.
Feeling strongly isolation from the group. Totally frustrated. I am such a loser.
Don't know how long the status would last. Very puzzled right now. maybe I need a sleep.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Long Thursday
This is gonna be a long Thursday. Weird thing one: I have only one hour lecture the whole day. And it has just ended. Weird thing two: I have to share some feelings about the exchange in Mercer at the Welcome-back party held this afternoon. Christina said that there is no need to worry about what to say, just say it in the way you like. That's why I traced back the blog to see some of the minds I had several months ago.
Paradoxically staying in hong kong right now missing all the friends and experience in the US while facing the challenges to come.
Have a lunch, boy.
Paradoxically staying in hong kong right now missing all the friends and experience in the US while facing the challenges to come.
Have a lunch, boy.
hiding
心情不好的时候，就会一个人藏起来。
I hide me when I am low.
I don't even know why I suddenly get so frustrated. I even share this out to someone who I am not that familiar with. I think I may need some time to cool me down.
Tense. The school has started for over a week. I hate many courses, seriously. It is not because I hate study. I love study though, I just hate the way teachers deliver their lecture, assign the reading work, and the silence of the atmosphere. Students do not like talking here, pretty dumb. Even mainland students are not showing sort of friendliness. Chemical analysis is totally a joke. I cannot understand the harsh english in strong hong kong accent. Also the lecture notes help nothing but keep confusing myself. Dude, I got an A last semester in the quantitative analysis, but I am now totally lost in the math part of this course, what the hell is going on?
Environmental Biotechnology is another lecture that doesn't fit me well. The professor is talkative, very talkative actually. But his mind is so jumping that I cannot understand his word clearly. He always draws general and wide idea to tackle with tiny issue, such as how to dispose the treated sewage in Hong Kong. I mean it is such a big topic to draw, but his conclusion is always ended up with something like "we dump them into Kowloon bay, because the water there is even more smelly."
Or maybe I just HKBU. I love all the friends meeting here, I just hate BU.
Well I do enjoy some classes. The molecular biology is not very difficult, since I learn genetics very hard last year, so most of the principle and idea can be easily understood and reviewed. The reading assigned by the sociology class is simple, hopefully I can end reading them before the start of October. I need to save time to study for the harder courses, such as the environmental biotechnology.
Many people keep asking me these days why I am not in the final year. Basically because I am lazy. I am such a laid back person who do not like to be pushed forward. I love study, but I hate the education system in BU which is not flexible. University Information System sucks. All the courses registration must be done there, so if you fail to do the add/drop online then you are not supposed to sit in the class. I keep hearing someone complaining that he cannot get enrolled in the class because of the shit quota is full. Overload is not a good idea, never. Except you are really good at managing time, plus there is no conflict between all the classes you plan to take.
Hence, I need one more year to fulfill both my major degree and my minor degree. Imagine that I am in my final year, doing the final year project every day, attending major lectures, overloading some credits for minor degree. Then I have to stay at least 12 hours a day in the school. That means 60 hours per week, plus I have the chance to continue doing research during weekend. Then I don't have time hanging out with my friends. I also need to spare some time preparing for the GRE test. Too many things gather and my life will definitely explode, let alone I am now hiding because some sort of tense is accumulating.
I still have a lot to do. Beyond the school, I plan to go to gym, read the book In Quest of Jesus, watch the Friends Season 6, mandarin debate team, hanging out with friends, visiting some people that I care. A LOT. Life is a b***h and then you die. Enjoy it. Enjoy the tense. Enjoy the hiddenness.
Time to leave library, so I should stop typing these shit now. Tomorrow will be another day.
I hide me when I am low.
I don't even know why I suddenly get so frustrated. I even share this out to someone who I am not that familiar with. I think I may need some time to cool me down.
Tense. The school has started for over a week. I hate many courses, seriously. It is not because I hate study. I love study though, I just hate the way teachers deliver their lecture, assign the reading work, and the silence of the atmosphere. Students do not like talking here, pretty dumb. Even mainland students are not showing sort of friendliness. Chemical analysis is totally a joke. I cannot understand the harsh english in strong hong kong accent. Also the lecture notes help nothing but keep confusing myself. Dude, I got an A last semester in the quantitative analysis, but I am now totally lost in the math part of this course, what the hell is going on?
Environmental Biotechnology is another lecture that doesn't fit me well. The professor is talkative, very talkative actually. But his mind is so jumping that I cannot understand his word clearly. He always draws general and wide idea to tackle with tiny issue, such as how to dispose the treated sewage in Hong Kong. I mean it is such a big topic to draw, but his conclusion is always ended up with something like "we dump them into Kowloon bay, because the water there is even more smelly."
Or maybe I just HKBU. I love all the friends meeting here, I just hate BU.
Well I do enjoy some classes. The molecular biology is not very difficult, since I learn genetics very hard last year, so most of the principle and idea can be easily understood and reviewed. The reading assigned by the sociology class is simple, hopefully I can end reading them before the start of October. I need to save time to study for the harder courses, such as the environmental biotechnology.
Many people keep asking me these days why I am not in the final year. Basically because I am lazy. I am such a laid back person who do not like to be pushed forward. I love study, but I hate the education system in BU which is not flexible. University Information System sucks. All the courses registration must be done there, so if you fail to do the add/drop online then you are not supposed to sit in the class. I keep hearing someone complaining that he cannot get enrolled in the class because of the shit quota is full. Overload is not a good idea, never. Except you are really good at managing time, plus there is no conflict between all the classes you plan to take.
Hence, I need one more year to fulfill both my major degree and my minor degree. Imagine that I am in my final year, doing the final year project every day, attending major lectures, overloading some credits for minor degree. Then I have to stay at least 12 hours a day in the school. That means 60 hours per week, plus I have the chance to continue doing research during weekend. Then I don't have time hanging out with my friends. I also need to spare some time preparing for the GRE test. Too many things gather and my life will definitely explode, let alone I am now hiding because some sort of tense is accumulating.
I still have a lot to do. Beyond the school, I plan to go to gym, read the book In Quest of Jesus, watch the Friends Season 6, mandarin debate team, hanging out with friends, visiting some people that I care. A LOT. Life is a b***h and then you die. Enjoy it. Enjoy the tense. Enjoy the hiddenness.
Time to leave library, so I should stop typing these shit now. Tomorrow will be another day.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
tense for start of the new semester
It is 0:15 now on september 10th. Traditionally this is a date to be celebrated for all the teachers, and indeed Chinese students do that every year. But this year it also becomes the first day of my "second" Junior year. Believe it or not, I have a four-month-long holiday this summer.
Two of my roomies went to bed already, and I am now typing some random words in front of my laptop, trying to clear my mind and move into the school shift.
Fourteen hours later will come the first lecture of the semester, which is the Global Social Transformation. It is the third year that I try to fulfill the minor degree of sociology. If the credits of the Globalization and Society could be transferred back to my host institution, I will have accumulated 12 units in SOC program and just need another 3 units to reach my goal. I am feeling a little excited about that, though there are certainly, again, tons of reading and writing waiting for me. As for the study of my major, I am taking ecology, molecular biology, and environmental biotechnology this semester. Only Ecology contains a 1.00-unit laboratory, and there's been a 18-page-long manual uploaded on the bumoodle (the lecture note downloading system). Sounds cool.
Yes, I am excited that the new semester is getting started, but yet I am very very tense right now. Maybe that is the only reason keep me typing continuously. I've been laid down and relaxed for about four months (this is perhaps the longest and lazy summer I have during my college life). It is the best time to force me to stop procrastination. Compared with the study load in Mercer, HKBU is just a piece of cake. You can never complaint about how less exams here have, but you may feel regretful of not studying hard enough throughout the semester because the schedule is such a loose one. I don't want to be back to a robot who are mastered in handling mid-terms and finals.
Because of the tense stuff, these days have been really weird that I am much more sensitive and undecidable. Overthinking really bothers me, and my reaction may or may not hurt the friends family members which worsen the overthinking. Cannot focus well and express the thoughts clearly. I am not satisfied with the current version of myself.
All this is caused by school, and all will be given an answer after the school starts.
Two of my roomies went to bed already, and I am now typing some random words in front of my laptop, trying to clear my mind and move into the school shift.
Fourteen hours later will come the first lecture of the semester, which is the Global Social Transformation. It is the third year that I try to fulfill the minor degree of sociology. If the credits of the Globalization and Society could be transferred back to my host institution, I will have accumulated 12 units in SOC program and just need another 3 units to reach my goal. I am feeling a little excited about that, though there are certainly, again, tons of reading and writing waiting for me. As for the study of my major, I am taking ecology, molecular biology, and environmental biotechnology this semester. Only Ecology contains a 1.00-unit laboratory, and there's been a 18-page-long manual uploaded on the bumoodle (the lecture note downloading system). Sounds cool.
Yes, I am excited that the new semester is getting started, but yet I am very very tense right now. Maybe that is the only reason keep me typing continuously. I've been laid down and relaxed for about four months (this is perhaps the longest and lazy summer I have during my college life). It is the best time to force me to stop procrastination. Compared with the study load in Mercer, HKBU is just a piece of cake. You can never complaint about how less exams here have, but you may feel regretful of not studying hard enough throughout the semester because the schedule is such a loose one. I don't want to be back to a robot who are mastered in handling mid-terms and finals.
Because of the tense stuff, these days have been really weird that I am much more sensitive and undecidable. Overthinking really bothers me, and my reaction may or may not hurt the friends family members which worsen the overthinking. Cannot focus well and express the thoughts clearly. I am not satisfied with the current version of myself.
All this is caused by school, and all will be given an answer after the school starts.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Love
I feel lonely, maybe because I still do not have a girl whom I love and care.
But I am here waiting, though I keep talking to myself that I need the focus these two years.
Well, maybe I can, maybe I cannot. Who knows where the love is.
But I am here waiting, though I keep talking to myself that I need the focus these two years.
Well, maybe I can, maybe I cannot. Who knows where the love is.
Poor at listening
Guess no one is gonna visit this blog, and it is really a long time since the last post.
In short, the exchange is over and I am back hk again.
to tell the truth, I am not so happy these days. Cannot figure out what is wrong with my concentration, but I feel so tense and focus on my feeling so much and cannot understand my friends' word, neither could they follow my thoughts until I explain over and over again. Very frustrated when this pattern occurs on and on.
Plus, kinda feel so bad and unprepared to meet a girl, either accidentally bummed into or other ways.
Very confused.
In short, the exchange is over and I am back hk again.
to tell the truth, I am not so happy these days. Cannot figure out what is wrong with my concentration, but I feel so tense and focus on my feeling so much and cannot understand my friends' word, neither could they follow my thoughts until I explain over and over again. Very frustrated when this pattern occurs on and on.
Plus, kinda feel so bad and unprepared to meet a girl, either accidentally bummed into or other ways.
Very confused.
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